Do you find yourself wondering if there’s anyone out there who can help you decide whether your relationship can survive everything you’ve been through? Or maybe there’s not really anything happening in your relationship at all and that’s part of the problem you’re feeling. Deciding whether to stay or go in a relationship is an incredibly hard decision. When a relationship is in crisis, you might feel like you don’t even know where to start with fixing things. Stay or Go counseling can offer you and your partner a space to openly discuss where the relationship is without the pressure to make a choice either way.
When you’re struggling in a relationship, you might experience a whirlwind of emotions. You might feel scared of losing the relationship, afraid of staying unhappy as you are, discouragement that nothing is helping to fix things, grief over changing a major aspect of your life, or hopelessness that anything will ever change.
Couples counseling can seem daunting, especially when you’re already emotionally on edge. You may not know what to expect or have had negative experiences in the past with couples therapy that left you feeling unheard, coerced, or mischaracterized. You might feel a confusing range of emotions about your relationship, and worry that those emotions will be taken out of context or used against you.
Stay or Go counseling will present you with a safe space to be honest and explore openly what brings up the question in the first place. You will not be tasked with working on or improving the relationship. The only goal will be to answer the question- should I stay or go?
What will my partner think if I bring up Stay or Go counseling?
When considering engaging in couples counseling, many people feel this is a signal to their partner that they are ready to work on the relationship. This can feel intimidating, scary, and inauthentic to your true feelings. Maybe your problems seem insurmountable, maybe there is too much hurt, or maybe you’re not ready to lay it all out on the table. The future is so unpredictable and there is so much to consider.
You and your partner may feel like you’re going around in circles, never able to find yourselves on the same page (or even in the same book!)
Maybe you have been here before, unsure if you want to keep going, or unsure if your partner wants to stay. Perhaps you both feel unsure of the future but aren’t ready to say goodbye. Stay or Go counseling can help you and your partner have a space to reflect on past and present issues that often result in arguments and contribute to the negative cycle that most couples experience.
When you’re deciding whether to stay or go, we will slow down and take it one step, one day, one emotion at a time.
What happens in Stay or Go counseling if I decide to stay?
Once you’ve made the decision to go to Stay or Go counseling, you might wonder what comes next. Perhaps you are leaning toward wanting to stay with your partner, but you don’t want to be somewhere you are unwanted or feel like you are the only one making an effort. No one wants to feel like they are alone in a marriage or relationship. Finding ways to express to one another what you’re really thinking and feeling can be a big part of the work in couples therapy, whether you decide to stay together or not.
Asking a partner to stay when you aren’t sure they’re happy in the relationship or what their feelings are can feel humiliating. We all like to feel wanted and cared about, and not knowing how your partner actually feels can be extremely painful.
With Stay or Go counseling, you won’t be left wondering what your partner is thinking or feeling as the therapist helps each of you understand and express what yourselves.
What happens in Stay or Go counseling if I decide to go?
On the other hand, you don’t have to stay in the relationship if you don’t want to. Perhaps you are ready to move on with saying goodbye to this relationship, but you aren’t ready, willing, or able to tell your partner. Perhaps you have tried and your partner can’t hear you. Maybe you feel hopeless or numb about what the future may hold and want to move away peacefully and respectfully. However you’re feeling when you decide to end your relationship, it can be beneficial to have the support of a mental health professional as you move through this next phase.
It’s also hard to cause someone pain, especially when you care about them. Even if you no longer wish to be in a relationship with someone, that doesn’t necessarily mean you want to cause them pain, so you might worry how ending the relationship will affect them. With Stay or Go counseling, you will know that you are supported in your decision to leave and if your partner feels differently, they will not be alone and can receive continued support with our clinicians.
How will I know if I should stay in my relationship or go?
There are a lot of messages out there about what divorce or deciding to work on the relationship means about you and your partner. Together in Stay or Go Counseling, we can find a place that feels right for you, while challenging your inner dialogue and societal messages.
When you seek Stay or Go counseling at our Centennial counseling office, you will never be asked to make a decision before you are ready. We will create a safe space, without pressure, to help you figure out what you really want. You will be empowered to decide if sessions are helpful or not every time we meet, and we will work with you to make sure you’re getting the most out of therapy.
Regardless of your decision about your relationship, we will be here to support you, whether that means engaging in couples therapy for the future or finding more support in saying goodbye to your partner in a respectful and firm way. If you’re interested in Stay or Go counseling, you can book an appointment today.